5 Assassins Who Are Killing It

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For Ray Shoesmith, being a hitman is just another day at the office. In Mr. Inbetween (Season 2 premieres September 12, at 10 on FX), Ray is balancing his “criminal for hire” employment with being a dad, brother and boyfriend. His job is demanding; requiring a personally defined code of ethics, the ability to operate in a shadowy world and the sense to not care what people think. And that’s just to get out of bed in the morning. After that, he still has to pick his kid up from school, take care of his brother, and try to find a shirt without blood stains for tonight’s date. Honestly, the guy should take some “me” time and relax sometimes. Play a video game. Have a cup of coffee. Heck, maybe these five assassins can meet up with Mr. Inbetween, grab a drink, and talk about what made them fall in love with the job in the first place.

Mask de Smith (Killer7)

“KIller7” is one assassin with seven, unique personalities. The “Mask de Smith” personality being perhaps the most flamboyant, looking something like a Las Vegas luchador. Being such a loud, obvious target might sound problematic for a hitman. Thankfully, Mask also has a superpower to go along with his cape: He can headbutt bullets out of the air. HK 47 (Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic series) Observation: HK 47 is an assassin droid, programmed to engage in unadulterated violence, preferably by blaster, evisceration, or other efficient means. (Though this is fueled by HK 47’s pure hatred for humanoid “meatbags,” whom he mocks at every opportunity.) If you have a problem and it has skin, this droid is your solution.

Travis Touchdown (No More Heroes series)

Travis is many things: assassin, fry cook, owner of a flying motorcycle. But above all, Travis Touchdown is a slacker whose real job is one of the various part-time gigs he works to pay for his next weapon upgrade. Contract killing, it seems, is just what Travis does for fun after his shift ends.

Emily Kaldwin (Dishonored 2)

Emily was born of royal blood. Now, to avenge her mother’s death and reclaim her throne, Emily has become an assassin. One with dark, supernatural powers allowing her to intertwine the fates of her enemies so that stabbing one person kills several. Or hypnotize whole crowds. She can even transform herself into a creature made of shadow, plague, and smoke to become more than an assassin, but the darkness at the end of all things.

Helmut Kruger / Agent 47 (Hitman 2016)

Agent 47 has the uncanny ability to become his cover persona. So when 47 took to a Parisian runway, the world saw only “Helmut Kruger,” a famous fashion icon. Then the world watched as dozens died in a “light scaffolding accident.” Lots of hitmen can kill people, but few can do it to applause.

Parting Shots

If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life. If other people hate what you do, you might afford a flying motorcycle or become empress. And that’s like love. Sorta.

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