6 PlayStation Characters That Would Ruin Thanksgiving
Sony's PlayStation consoles are home to a wide variety of characters, from the zany to the dangerous to that one clown whose hair is made of fire. As such, you might not think many of the diverse personalities found within the PS library would be well-suited for an event like Thanksgiving dinner with the family. And you may be right.
We're not here to say that every character who shows up on one of Sony's gaming platforms is bound to end the night wearing the turkey on their head, or threatening to unleash the Blades of Chaos on your uncle, but there are definitely a few who fit the bill. Here are some of the worst.
We'll begin with the character who would, beyond a shadow of a doubt, end the night with the turkey on his head. Daxter, the lovably loud sidekick to the formerly silent protagonist Jak, is undoubtedly one guest you'd have to second guess bringing to any function, much less dinner with the family.
Sure, Daxter's a good guy. He's got a big heart underneath all of that fur. But what he wears on the outside is loud, obnoxious, and has a tendency to tell just one joke too many. Of course, it's possible that Daxter would fit right in with your family, and if that's the case, invite him! Just please, don't invite us.
It would be unfair of us to ignore how much more chill Kratos has become over the years. Formerly a bloodthirsty god hunter, Kratos has seemingly settled into a more relaxed life with his son, Atreus. The problem is, the phrase "formerly a bloodthirsty god hunter" tends to come with some major red flags.
It seems like Kratos can never truly find peace anywhere, as trouble has a habit of knocking at his front door – sometimes literally. And as cool as it would be to watch Thor swoop down onto your grandmother's front yard, you may not want your family to be there for what follows.
4/6 Parappa the Rapper
This is a tough one. Parappa is, by all accounts, a good dude through and through – he's got a promising rap career going, a beautiful girlfriend who's also a sunflower, and his constant mantra of "you gotta believe!" is an inspiration to us all. The real issue here is with the dish Parappa would undoubtedly arrive with.
If you're familiar with Parappa's past adventures, you'll know he has a tendency to turn on the cooking channel and just whip up any dish that's being prepped at the time, even if that dish is a seafood cake. A seafood cake. A normal cake, covered in icing, with shrimp and clams all over it. Parappa might have to sit this holiday out.
3/6 Revolver Ocelot
Revolver Ocelot is essentially the opposite of Parappa the Rapper, and I'd be shocked if you could find that sentence anywhere else on the internet. While Parappa would most likely me a joy to hang around, I can't imagine a scenario in which I'd want to invite Ocelot, unless I wanted to learn how to spin revolvers or dismantle a nation.
On top of not wanting to bring a sociopathic war criminal to dinner (at least not this one), inviting Revolver Ocelot himself anywhere likely means that he'll be joined by the equally terrifying Liquid Snake, one way or another. Whether Ocelot is serving as Liquid's right-hand man or Liquid is serving as Ocelot's right hand, this is a two-part invitation that you'll want no part of.
Like Kratos, Dante tends to be a magnet for trouble, sometimes directly from the depths of Hell. If that isn't enough to stop you from hitting 'send' on that invite, consider the particular way in which Dante dispatches his foes.
Have you ever seen your dining room table used as a skateboard? That sounds awesome, right? Of course. Now picture steak knives and forks flying across the room as Dante kickflips the turkey through a window and splatters demon blood all over the china cabinets. Still sound awesome? Okay, it does, but still – don't invite Dante.
1/6 Sweet Tooth
Needles Kane, nicknamed Sweet Tooth after the name of his murderous ice cream truck, is a serial killer clown with flaming hair who drives a murderous ice cream truck. When he's not busy being a serial killer clown with flaming hair, he uses his murderous ice cream truck to compete with other drivers. But he kills those other drivers, so I guess he's still being a serial killer clown. With flaming hair. And a murderous ice cream truck.
If you were to invite Sweet Tooth to your Thanksgiving dinner, you would be welcoming a serial killer clown with flaming hair to drive his murderous ice cream truck into your neighborhood. If you're this far into this entry and still need to be convinced not to send that invite, nothing can help you. And I doubt he'll be bringing icecream.
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